"I always knew that mom and dad loved me best" : the experience of being an only child

In-depth interviews were conducted with 20 young adult only children. The purpose of this study was to elicit their descriptions of the subjective experience of being an only child. Qualitative analysis of the interviews revealed both assets and challenges to the experience.

The majority of participants were accepting of their only child status. Positive aspects of the only child birth order position included no sibling rivalry, an enjoyment of spending time alone, an appreciation of being the only recipient of parents' emotional and financial resources, and the development of a close relationship with parents. Challenges included not having a sibling confidant, feeling pressure to succeed, seeking undivided attention from others, and feeling a difficulty in connecting and negotiating with peers. Additionally, some participants experienced what they described as an early maturity or a stronger identification with adults than child age-mates.

Projecting to later life, interviewees reported limitations of being only children to include being the sole caretaker of aging parents, lacking an age- mate connection to family of origin, and concern for effectively parenting multiple children themselves. Participants were asked to make recommendations to parents of young only children. The most frequent suggestions were to provide opportunities for involvement with age-mates, to avoid overindulging only children, to encourage independence, and to strive for close parent-child relationships.

The findings of this study are consistent with Adlerian theory about the influence of being an only child on development. The findings are viewed in the context of the impact of the only child experience on the development of the Adlerian concept of social interest.